B.G.M. Speaks on Texas Textbooks and Revisionist History

If we as a society are ever going to progress, we must address our past.  The State of Texas is taking a huge stepback in terms of progress by trying to eliminate slavery from the teaching of the Civil War. 

Next year, five million public school students in Texas will begin using social studies textbooks that will not mention the Ku Klux Klan(KKK), Jim Crow laws, or slavery as one of the primary factors in the Civil War.  Instead these books will suggest that slavery was a side issue and that the primary factor in the Civil War was the role of states’ rights vs. a centralized government.

However, historians have pointed out that the states rights debate and the issue of slavery are “inseparable.” Therefore, Texas is presenting a revisionist history that undermines the role and impact of slavery in the Civil War. 

If we do not bring attention to how slavery has impacted our country and society we are going to continue to see history and racism repeat itself. One of the examples that we are currently seeing is the Confederate Flag debate.  For some, people associate the Confederate flag with being a symbol of states rights “triumph” over centralized government, but as the Confederate Flag is also a symbol of racism and the enslavement of black people. Those two causes are inseparable, meaning they cannot be separated.

If we teach young children that slavery is a side issue, we are also teaching children that Black people are a side issue. If we teach young children that slavery is not equal in the eyes of history as other issues related to the Civil War, we are undermining the lives of Harriet Tubman and other abolitionists who gave their lives to end slavery and minimizing their contribution to history.

I am challenging everyone to end the revisionist history rhetoric and teaching and start addressing the central issues of racism and bigotry that have been pervasive throughout U.S. History. That starts by acknowledging slavery, racism, and bigotry in history class. Lets talk about these issues publicly and start the education at an early age. That way the next generation can grow and learn from the mistakes of our past and history can stop repeating itself. In 2015, we shouldn’t feel that it still 1955 or 1855. 

B.G.M. on My Independence Day

I have never felt a connection to the 4^th of July. I know that is the day that Americans celebrate the United States independence from England, and its supposed to be a collective celebration of freedom and independence.  However, I have never had a connection to the holiday because, July 4, 1776, those were like me, black, gay, male, we were not free in this country.  We were still enslaved in the United States.  You couldn’t marry or be publicly be in a relationship with someone of the same gender. You couldn’t really be fluid in terms of gender back then. Therefore, it makes sense why the 4^th of July has never really resonated with me.

I am a survivor of many things in my life. I have survived Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twice. I am a rape survivor. I am a child-abuse survivor. Combine all of this with the daily struggles of being black, gay, and not 100% male conforming, it is a lot! I deal with all of these issues in my own way and in many ways in silence. One of the reasons why I deal with them in silence is because I’m often told to deal with them in silence because the world doesn’t like to hear people talk about the painful difficult aspects of their lives, especially if you have many. I also deal with them in silence because many of these experiences have been belittled and minimized by other people and you get to a point where you do not want your experiences to be minimized so you just remain quiet about it. Well, today I guess I am celebrating an Independence Day by saying to the world through this post that I am a Black Gay Male, Cancer, Rape, Child Abuse survivor who is dealing with all of these issues simultaneously each and everyday and I’m doing my best to handle it in the way that is most comfortable for me to handle it. It may not be the way that you deal with it, but at the same time, you’re not living with it. We as Black people have often been told that we have to love our enemies and understand others, without that same understanding coming our way. We as Gay people have often been told that we have to respect everyone else’s marriages and loves without having that same respect coming our way. We as gender non-conformists, have often been told that we need to not put ourselves out there, that are non-conforming behavior is problematic for other members of the LGBT community, and that are non-conforming is damaging to society. I say, why should any of us understand, respect, or conform to those who are not understanding, respecting, or behaving in a way that is pleasing to us.

I have spent a great deal of my life, silencing myself, understanding others, helping others, and trying to conform to standards that don’t have me in mind or are in my best interests. I know many of you who are reading this have also silenced yourself, given of yourself, minimized yourself, and conformed to standards that do not fit you. Today, I say, celebrate your Independence Day, and be free from all things that are inhibiting your voice, your progress, your growth, and your ability to freely live in all your intersections. Don’t wait because trust me as someone who has had his own family turn away from him, friends who may or may not be there when you need them, no real sense of consistency when it comes to love, you will drive yourself crazy if you keep conforming and waiting for these people. As my best friend has to often remind me, no one owes you closure, and at the same time, no one owes you, YOU. YOU owe yourself to be fully who you are.

So don’t wait for others to grant you independence, claim your own independence in being freely all of who you are and expressing in the ways YOU feel you need to. I’m celebrating my Independence Day by claiming my own freedom in being fully who I am as a survivor of a whole lot of shit and someone who is finding his way the best way he knows how and marching to the beat of his own drum. I invite you to celebrate your own and let what ever flag you carry fly!

B.G.M. Reminds You That We are BLACK, GAY, and PROUD

Over the weekend, across the U.S., several cities celebrated LGBT Pride. In addition to that, they also celebrated the landmark Supreme Court Decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, which made marriage equality legal in all 50 states. On Friday and Saturday, I celebrated in Houston because I was happy to see our society move one step closer towards the ultimate goal of equality for everyone.  On Sunday, however, I was reminded by just how far we have to go and how little we have moved as a society. 

On this blog and in my life, I am very unapologetic about being a BLACK GAY MALE. The reason why I have to assert all these identities is because people often feel that one aspect of my identity is negated by the other or that because I embrace one aspect that I forget the other. For example, this weekend while I was celebrating Gay Pride, I was also hurting over the fact that in South Carolina several more churches have been burned to the ground. Some would say that because I am Gay and was celebrating marriage equality, that that makes me anti-black. Some would say that because I embrace Gay Culture that I do so at the expense of my blackness. Some would say that because I don’t produce children that I am not furthering the Black Race. To them I say BULLSHIT, I AM STILL BLACK AND GAY.

I embrace all of myself. I am very proud to be a Black man and I embrace my culture and my history. I also deal with the racism that I encounter within the LGBT community. For example, someone took it upon themselves to create an image of two people standing on an Olympic podium with their rainbow fists in the air similar to Tommie Smith and John Carlos’s symbolic and iconic gesture at the 1968 Olympics.

However, this image is offensive to me as a BLACK man.  The image negates the fact that it was celebrating BLACK achievement in the Olympic Games , BLACK people standing in solidarity with BLACK people, and the blocking out of BLACK people in the LGBT movement. The image could have easily been two BLACK GAY MEN who stood proudly with their BLACK FIST in the air clad in rainbow. Instead someone once again did not take into consideration the historical significance and the contribution of BLACK people to this country and to the LGBT movement.

Also, during this weekend I have seen white men going to twitter and using the hashtag #TakeUsDown to mock White Privilege and to assert that it is fake.

These images reflect how a large part of our society negates the oppression and hatred that Black people experience on the basis of race. It shows how our culture and experiences are not equally treated. It shows how while I may be able to get married today, I could be killed because I am Black. It shows how many people will smile in my face but behind their eyes and within their hearts they do not see me or others like me as being equal to them and want to mock the actual struggle that we face each and every day.

I have seen that the KKK is planning a rally in South Carolina to protest the removal of the Confederate Flag from the State Capital.

The Confederate Flag is NOT a symbol for Southern Pride. It is a symbol and reminder of a time when Black people were enslaved in this country. It is a symbol of a group of people who would like to return to the days of Black enslavement.For those who assert that the Confederate flag is a symbol of anything else, take a good look of who is standing around with you as your supports. The KKK stands for racial oppression and hatred and if you stand with them on this issue, you are also tacitly supporting their bigotry.

All of this happened over the weekend while I was celebrating Gay Pride, and it OFFENDS ME AS A BLACK MAN.

My Blackness and My Gayness are all a part of me. They are both equally important to me. I deal with racism and homophobia equally. They both hurt equally as much when I receive it from white, black, gay, straight, people. I know thousands of people turned their social media profile pics to rainbow to show support for the LGBT community, and I am happy that they did that. However, we need to also remind people that while we are celebrating we still have a long way to go and that there are people who live at the intersections of race, gender, and sexual orientation and that one aspect of their identity does not cancel out the other aspects of who they are.

I am happy that Seek The Poet created the profile pic that I am using now and the profile pic of others who proudly proclaim that they live at the intersections of LGBT and Blackness. We Exist!!! We feel the pride of having marriage equality. We feel the pain of racism and stand with our brothers and sisters in South Carolina and everywhere else. We are BLACK, GAY, AND PROUD…and DON’T YOU FORGET IT!

Dear United States of America: I am tired of dying in order for you to move forward!

Dear United States of America:

I am tired of dying in order for you to move forward!

As a Black gay man, I am tired of having to die in order for you to move forward as a society. I am tired that it took thousands of people who were forced to come to this country, forced to work, and never receive compensation for their hard work to die before you recognized their humanity as Black people. (We still need that compensation!)

I am tired that it took many Black churches, businesses, and schools to be bombed before you recognized that discrimination is a problem in this country. (Even though many of you still don't see it as a problem).

I am tired that it took hundreds of Black men to die in Tuskegee, Alabama while undergoing medical care authorized by the U.S. Government, under the guise of "medical study", with no intention of curing these men when a cure was available before ethical protocols were put in place regarding academic and medical studies.

I am tired that it took nine Black people to die in a church before you realized that the Confederate flag is a symbol of oppression that needs to be taken down from federal property and that those street names and other symbols need to also be eradicated.

I am tired that it took hundreds of LGBTQ people to be arrested and some killed yet we still do not have marriage equality or the right to work in this entire country without the fear of being fired because of who we are.

I am tired of the hundreds of transgender and gender queer people who are killed and do not have their humanity recognized or their cases equally treated by law enforcement and by the legal system.

As a result of these countless and senseless deaths we have had the Civil Rights Movement, the LGBTQ Rights Movement, the Feminist/Womanist Movement.  These deaths have lead to progressive advancements for this country, but yet in spite of all these movements the United States of America collectively still dehumanizes People of Color, LGBTQ people, and women.

I refuse to pledge allegiance to a country that continually fails to advance towards full equality and recognition for all of its people.  The United States of America needs to wake the fuck up and start addressing the collective needs of those who lie at the intersections and those who have endured a history of oppression in this country.

While I am happy about today's SCOTUS decisions regarding the Affordable Care Act and Fair Housing, and I applaud the Supreme Court of the United States for advancing progressively, the rest of our country and society still has a long way to go before I can pledge allegiance.

Overall, I say to you, the United States of America, you have failed me as an American, and I refuse to pledge allegiance to you until you become a country that recognizes me, all who are like me, and all who I care about as humans deserving of equal treatment and freedom from oppression.

Not yours,
The BGM

B.G.M. Mourns the Lives Lost at Emanuel A.M.E. Church

Yesterday, I like many of you, mourned the lives of those who were brutally murdered inside of Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, South Carolina. I was speechless when I saw the initial coverage. I could not believe that a group of people who were just fellowship with each other were mercessily gunned down by someone. I felt that I was thrown back to living in the 1960s during the Bombingham area of the Civil Rights Movement when churches were bombed by Ku Klux Klan. I was happy to see that the person who is responsible for this heinous crime, Dylann Roof, was caught.

However, this incident once again proves that the lives of Black people are considered equally in this country. Witnesses at the shooting stated that Roof said "you rape our women and you're taking over the country." Roof felt he was entitled to take the lives of Black people, without the consideration that White men have raped Black women and men throughout history and took over this country from Native Americans.

What's even worse is that people are actually in support of Roof. Even to the point of establishing a Facebook group page calling for Justice for Dylann Roof

Dylann Roof does not deserve JUSTICE!!! THE 9 PEOPLE HE MURDERED DESERVE JUSTICE!!

This proves that we are not in a post-racial society. Race is still very important because of the Power and Privileges associated with Race. The fact that 9 Black People can be killed and there is no outrage about this on an equal level to similar incidences such as Sandy Hook, illustrates the inequities in our society. The fact that Roof is not considered to be a thug or equally as negatively portrayed as others who commit heinous crimes shows the devaluation of Black people. 

WAKE UP AMERICA!!! WE LIVE IN A RACIST SOCIETY AND I'M TIRED OF BEING DEVALUED!!!

I mourn today but we must all continue to fight for equality and justice for all people, and the first step is realizing that there is work to be done and we are FAR from POST RACIAL.

AMERICA IS RACIST, AND THE DEVALUATION OF BLACK LIVES NEEDS TO STOP.

B.G.M. Discusses Rachel Dolzeal and the Politics of Quantifying Race

I have kept quiet on the Rachel Dolzeal issue because I wanted to gather my thoughts. Now I am ready to offer my take:

RACHEL DOLZEAL REVEALS THE PROBLEMATIC NATURE OF THE QUANTIFICATION OF RACE.

When I talk about the quantification of race, I'm talking about two central questions:

1.  How Black are you?
2.  How Black enough do you have to be in order to be considered Black?

Now here are some of the problems that I see when it comes to Rachel Dolzeal.

Rachel was born with white privilege. She grew up phenotypically white and maintained the privileges of having white skin and coming from white parents.  She did not experience the racial experience of not having white privilege.  All people of color have that shared universal experience of being considered an "other" purely on the basis of the color of their skin.  Along with the othering comes the discrimination and prejudices associated with having a different skin tone that isn't white.  Rachel Dolzeal NEVER experienced that. She then chose to racially associated herself as Black. Race is not something that you can step into or out of. Just because she teaches courses related to the African American experience doesn't mean that she can authentically speak to the lived experience of being a Black person. She can speak of it from an abstract or hypothetical but not from a concrete experience. Also, I find it extremely problematic that she sued Howard University because she feels that she was discriminated for being White. Which are you Rachel? You can't be Black when its convenient and then retreat back to White privilege. Black people CAN NEVER do that. Therefore, Rachel Dolzeal, YOU ARE NOT BLACK.

Another huge problem that I am seeing is that Rachel's voice is now being considered more so than African American women who have lived the Black experience from birth. Who the fuck is she to tell any Black person what it means to be Black. Also, just because she has done work on behalf of the Black community through her role as President of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP does not make her an authority on the Black experience or make her more Black than others.  I really find it appalling when Black men such as Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Don Cheadle, and others cosign her because of her work. Why are they not elevating the voices of Black women who are doing the same racial justice work AND can speak truth to their own power through their lived experience as a Black person. They and those who point out Dolzeal's racial work as a proxy for the lived experience of Black people are contributing to the minimization of black lives.

Now on the lfip side what this exposes for me are the two central questions that I posed at the beginning:

How Black Are You?
This has been a questions that we as a society have addressed incorrectly in so many ways.  From the onset, it was the One Drop Rule, where if you have one relative from the African Diaspora, you were considered black. Then it was how do you appear? From this, we got the Paper Bag Test, where if your skin was lighter or darker than the color of a brown paper bag you were subject to some form of discrmination. Then it was how do you talk? From this, we got the notion of "Talking White" where if you did not speak in Ebonics, you were considered to be engaging in Whiteness. Then it was what activities you engage in? From this, we got the policing and coding of certain activities as being participating in whiteness and other being coded as engaging in Blackness. We have been policing and quantifying the notion of Race for a long time and we collectively as a society have also bought into that quantification. That buying into that quantification leads to the other question of How Black does anyone have to be in order to be considered Black enough?

Personal Experience
I have personally experienced this throughout my entire life. I have been told that I am not Black enough by White and Black people. According to the One Drop Rule, I would be considered Black because both of my parents are Black. From the Paper Bag Test, I would be considered Black because my skin is darker than a paper bag. From the talking test, I fail and have been accused of Talking White. From the activities test, I have been accused of acting White because I prefer theatre over sports. However, none of these tests can attest to my lived experience as a Black Gay Man. I have been called a Nigger just because of the color of my skin. I have experienced my intelligence being called in to question due to my race. I have to worry about when I walk out my door that I will be considered dangerous simply because I am Black. All of this comes from my authentic lived experience and not from an abstract or cultural association. LIVED EXPERIENCE.

We need to elevate the lived experience of Black people overall, but more importantly of those Black people who are at the intersections, specifically Black Women and Black Transpeople. We need to STOP THE USAGE OF THE WORD TRANSRACIAL. You cannot step into or out of Race. Gender is a different socially constructed construct and therefore should not be conflated with Race. It is a disservice and disrespectful to the transgender community by even suggesting that Rachel Dolzeal is similar to the experience of transpeople. SHE IS NOT. Also, we need to not give this woman any more attention. I am calling on the media to not give her any more airtime. She does not need a reality show. She does not need a platform to spread her lies. Instead, elevate the voices of those who have truly lived the experience of being Black in America. Blackness is not a monolith, but it does come from an authentic lived experience and not from lies.  Stop devaluating the lives of Black people by elevating a fraud.

Blackness is not a monolith, but it does come from an authentic lived experience and not from lies.

Yours always,
The BGM

B.G.M. Discusses My Work on Effemiphobia in the Gay Community

Greetings Everyone!

In addition to my regular job and my community activism, I am a sociologist. My work focuses on the intersections of race, gender, and sexual orientation. During my time at Texas A&M University, I worked on a project called Effemiphobia in the Gay Community.  Effemiphobia is defined as the “fear of effeminacy by gay men towards other gay men”. I don’t like using the fear aspect of the definition. I prefer to focus on it as the treatment of effeminacy by gay men towards other gay men. I illustrated the way that effemiphobia manifests itself within the gay community through online profiles such as Adam 4 Adam, Grindr, and Jackd. When you see statements such as “No Fats, No Fems” or “Straight Acting only” or “Must be Masc or Masculine” these are statements that promote a negative treatment of effeminacy. My argument is that the large-scale usage of these terms demonstrates that the cisgendered gay male community has an issue with effeminacy and it in terms impacts how we interact with each other but also how effeminate individuals see themselves within the gay community. I was going to continue on to the Ph.D. level with my work but I chose not too because I do not like the publish or parish nature of academia and I also don’t like how academia wants to keep research within the Ivory Tower and not bring it out to the community. I am very much a community minded Sociologist and I want my work to be used and discussed within the community so that we are aware of the social constructs and social issues that impact our community and come up with ways to address those issues. I also want my work to reflect the lived experiences of the people who are directly impacted by my work instead of speaking about them simply from a theoretical standpoint.

My work has been featured in the GLADD Media Award winning article, “Why Can’t You Just Butch Up? Gay Men, Effeminacy, and Our War With Ourselves?” Check out the article here. I have presented on this topic at the National LGBTQ Task Force: Creating Change Conference twice and have received high evaluations. I have presented at Rice University, Texas A&M University, the University of Houston, and other institutions of higher education on the topic. I have been profiled for my work by publications and other blogs.

I mention all this to say that I know what I am talking about when it comes to discussing the intersections of sexual orientation, gender presentations, masculinities, and race. However, my work has not been appreciated or widely accepted by members of my own community, specifically the Black Gay/SGL Community. Often, I will see other presentations and discussions facilitated in my own city from people who know that I do this work, and they won’t even ask for my participation or contributions. When I present at colleges, universities, and conferences the attendance is often devoid of my fellow Black Gay/SGL men. I have submitted applications and abstracts in order to present at conferences specifically geared towards Black Gay Men/Same Gender Loving and to date I have not been accepted or invited to speak at any of these conferences.

For me this shows where the support of my work is coming from. It shows who is ready to have these conversations in a deeper way, rather than maintaining it at a general and surface level. I'm not gonna lie that it pisses me off that my work can be supported by others who are not like me but those who are like me don't value my work in a substantive way. I'm pissed about it but make no mistake, I don't NEED your validation. I know my worth and I know the significance of my work. 

I am going to continue to do this work and I thank everyone who has supported my efforts in a substantive way by coming to my presentations, by encouraging my work, and by offering me the space to be able to effectively facilitate these conversations.  However, to those who claim they support me in the background, please read the following message.

When you are ready to have the conversation, I am here. If you would like for me to facilitate a discussion on effemiphobia, or the intersections of race, gender, and sexual orientation, you can email me at bgmseeks@gmail.com.

Yours always,

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Discusses Caitlyn Jenner

Yesterday Caitlyn Jenner broke social media and the Internet!

Vanity Fair released the cover of its next issue featuring Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner. Immediately following the release my social media timelines were innudated with posts featuring the cover and other photos featured in the magazine.

I completely support and applaud Caitlyn for using her celebrity to announce her transition to the world. Even before the issue hits the newstands on June 9th it has already caused people to think about the transgender community and issues surrounding gender identity. Here are some of the larger issues that I feel needs to be addressed based on the reaction to the article.

Transgender Visibility in the Media
I always applaud increase diversity in representations in the media. When we see ourselves in the media, we are able to increase the visibility of others within our communities and society. However, I feel there needs to be an even greater increase in terms of transgender visibility throughout our media. Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox, and Janet Mock have all used their celebrity status to bring greater visibility to the transgender community, but we need more representations outside of the area of celebrity and entertainment. My hope is that our media spaces will use the reaction and attention that Caitlyn Jenner has brought to bring more representations of transgender people. Men's Health and GQ should feature transmen on their covers and articles. We also need a greater diversity in terms of race and socioeconomic classes among transgender representations. Most transitions are not going to be glamorous because of the costs involved in gender transition. The average cost of gender reassignment can range from $24,000 to $50,000.  Therefore, there is a cost prohibitiion when it comes to transitioning. Therefore, there are privileges involved when it comes to being able to transition, and then those privileges get amplified by images of individuals who have access to those privileges.

I applaud the Root (shoutout to Samantha Master!) for contributing to the expansion of transgender visibility by featuring 8  transwomen of color who are impacting our world.  Please check out that article.

The Negativity Towards the Transgender Community
While most of the messages I saw on social media were in support of Caitlyn, there were also some negative messages that show that some work still needs to be done.  First,  I saw a lot of memes that were falsely equating Jenner's transition with the struggles of other individuals such as military veterans and other people who have undergone medical procedures. These false equivalences are not necessary.  Everyone's experiences are valid and should be treated as such. Caitlyn Jenner displaying herself to the world is brave. The military service of our servicemen and women is brave. They are both equally brave and equally as valid. There is no need to falsely conflate them with each other in order to delegitimize.

Also, people need to realize that these negative memes and misgendering Caitlyn by calling her him or Bruce are forms of microagressions. Collective microagressions can cause damage to people. When someone sees a lot of microagressions coming from people within their community, it sends a message that certain people are not considered to be members of that community. So when African Americans consistently send misgendering messages and memes related to Caitlyn Jenner, it creates the message that transgender people are not welcomed in the African American community. I say this because most of the negative social media messages I saw were coming from members of the African American community. Now, if community wants to not be portrayed as homophobic or transphobic than we need to stop these microagressions. Your negative meme or misgender might affect someone in an unintended way. Too many people have committed suicide because they felt that they could not be who they are because of the microagressions hurdled at them from people within their communities.

Conclusion
Ultimately, we all want to be seen and heard. My hope is that Caitlyn Jenner leads to more transgender people been seen and heard within media and overall in our society. I hope that she causes people to learn more about transgender people. We need to uplift and encourage all gender expressions and identities and not demean each other. My existence does not stop you from existing, and you shouldn't prevent mine or anyone else from existing in their fullness.

Yours always,
The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Celebrates the 1 Year Anniversary of the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance..now the REAL work begins

Greetings Everyone!

This past week we celebrated the 1 year anniversary of the passage of the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance (HERO)! HERO provides protection against discrimination in public accomodations of on the basis of 15 different classes. Individuals cannot be denied employment, housing, or access to public accomodations due to their: race, sex, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, familial status, marital status, military status, religion, disability, sexual orientation, genetic information, gender identity, and pregnancy.

The Houston community celebrated at a party at Boulevard Realty. I was proud to serve as one of the sponsors of the event along with other organizations and individuals who were instrumental in the passage of the Ordinance. I was happy to see that the attendance reflected the diversity of the LGBT community in terms of race, sexual orientations, and gender identities.

Now that we have celebrated, the real work begins with respect to the Ordinance and addressing the issues of discrimination that we face within our communities. At the party we talked about the next steps with respect to the Ordinance. The Ordinance is still being challenged in the Texas State Court of Appeals. Leading the opposition is the Houston Area Pastors Council, Dave Welsch, and Dave Wilson. (What is it with men with the initials DW and equal rights?) Therefore, there is still a possibility that Ordinance could be on the Novemeber ballot.  The Ordinance is necessary to ensure the protections of all marginalized people who live in Houston, Texas. Therefore, we must educate everyone on the Ordinance and dispel the myths that are being perputated by the Opposition. We are organizing an education campaign that will include canvassing throughout Houston.  I am encouraging everyone to participate through donations and participating in the canvass. You can donate and signup through: www.houequality.org.

The Ordinance is a first step to a large conversation that needs to occur within our businesses, services, and society:  What are we doing to protecting and including all members of our society? We through around words such as diversity and inclusion, but are we truly reflecting those words. Look at your business, does it have people from different races, genders, and sexual orientations. If it doesn't think about your hiring practices and think about how are you recruiting to include that diversity within your organizations and institutions. If your mission and vision statements include references to being inclusive, make sure that you are indeed acting in that manner. For example, if you are part of a service that is supposed to provide for the LGBT community, are you truly providing services for all aspects of the community. Is your literature bisexual exclusive? Do you have employees who can provide support to the transgender community? If you cannot answer these questions, then that means you are not living up to your expectations.

I am very proud of this Ordinance and I am dedicated to ensure that it remains in the City of Houston. However, we need to move on to the next step of ensuring that our services and accomodations are inclusive of all people and not microaggressively discriminating.

Yours always,
The BGM

B.G.M. Debuts: Ask the B.G.M.!

Hey Everyone!

I want to hear from you!

I am debuting a new feature to my blog called "Ask the B.G.M." It will be a weekly feature in which I will answer any question posed. You can feel free to email me your questions at bgmseeks@gmail.com. You can tweet your questions to @bgmseeks on Twitter. 

This your chance to be apart of the B.G.M. Seeks world and contribute to the dialogue.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours always,

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Offers a Reality Check

As a black gay man one of the issues that I have encountered and witnessed within all of the communities I exist in is the devaluation of voices.  

Living in an era where people want to believe that All Lives Matter, I have to challenge that belief because all voices are not given equal consideration and treatment. This devaluation of voices occurs between the majority communities and minority communities but also within both communities.

As a black man, my intelligence and views are often questioned and valued less than white counterparts who are less knowledgeable and credible than myself because of my race. The old adage of black people having to be "twice as good, in order to get half" applies here when you have to get twice the education or be two times higher in positions within the workplace and community in order to have your voice equally treated. Look at our own President of the United States, Barack Obama. Even with his position of being the "leader of the free world" his voice is devalued by people who lack his knowledge and intelligence simply because he is a black man.

As a gay man, my voice is devalued because I do not have heterosexual privilege. My relationships are not considered to be equal to those who engage in heterosexual relationships. Therefore when I talk about relationship issues or family issues my views are not equally considered because who I love and my immediate family doesn't look like the status quo.

Within the minority communities I come from, I have experienced devaluation of my voice from people who are just like me. Being academically credentialed can lead to being devalued because you do not have direct knowledge of those experiences, even when you do have direct knowledge. I have heard, "oh you're not from the hood", "you don't know my struggle", or "you're too book smart you don't know what it's like in the streets". Well you didn't even listen to my opinion or ask me about my experience before immediately dismissing what I have to say entirely.

Ageism often leads to devaluation because the assumption is that you have not had enough lived experience in order to form an informed opinion. Length of time doesn't mean that you have a better understanding than someone else. Both the young and the old have informed opinions that can inform and benefit each other, if they are willing to consider and listen to each other.

Attractiveness is also a factor that we don't always consider. If someone is not to your liking sexually of attractionally, their opinion is ask not considered equally. That's why certain voices are elevated over others because people like the packaging even though the message maybe the same or even less impactful. Look at Dreamgirls, Deena was elevated over Effie because she had a more "universal" appeal, aka traditional standard of Americanized beauty. It's like, oh I want to fuck him or her, let me listen, so I can get in, but then someone who is considered to be less attractive says the exact same thin than all of a sudden they are considered to be just angry or bitter because of their less attractiveness.

If we are gonna try to buy into the belief that "All Lives Matter" than we need to consider all voices. We need to not devalue each other. Our experiences need equal consideration and equal treatment it that value is ever gonna be achieved. Now, if we as a society are not gonna change our ways or behaviors than please quit the empty rhetoric and kindly "Shut the Fuck Up!"

However those from marginalized communities continue to raise your voices and make sure that you are heard. Raise your voice for yourself. Your gonna feel like no one is listening but you are getting your point out there and advocating for yourself. There is power in your voice and you have to exercise it by any method you have and whether or not anyone hears you. Eventually, your whisper will be heard.

Keep those voices raised and check yourself on how you consider each other.

Yours Always,

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Seeks an End to Police Brutality and Full Marriage Equality for All...and the two DON'T CONFLICT

This week I felt that all of intersections collided together. This past Monday, Freddie Gray, the 25 year old Baltimore native who was killed while in police custody, was laid to rest.  Following his funeral, several Baltimore citizens took to the streets to protest. Several people were injured and property destroyed. The incident was characterized as a riot. I am being very careful in how I describe this incident because I wasn't there and I am not going to contribute to the inaccurate characterization of this event.

On Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard the oral arguments in Obergefell v. Hodges, the case that could lead to marriage equality in all 50 states. It was great to see a diverse array of people protesting outside of the Supreme Court in support of marriage equality.

The Intersections

As a black gay man, I am apart of both of these movements. As a black man, I understand what it feels like to be discriminated on the basis of race and feel that your life innately is not considered equal to white lives. I understand what it feels like to be denied equal access to upward mobility because of your race. I understand and have experienced negative experiences with law enforcement without provocation. Freddie Gray was killed while in police custody and no one has been punished. This creates the feeling that as a black man, my life and the lives of other black people are considered to be expendable. So, I understand why what happened in Baltimore happened. When you see all the systemic issues that you deal with as a black person come to a head with no solutions in sight, you get mad. Let me be clear. I support civil disobedience. I support protesting. I do not support theft. I do not support the destruction of public property, especially in our own neighborhoods. However, I do think we need to be careful with how we characterize what is going on in Baltimore. I completely disagree with a lot of the coverage that characterizes all the actions taking place in Baltimore as being criminal actions. I disagree with the arrests of people who at exercising their rights to protest. They should not be characterized as thugs or any other derogatory terms because it diminishes the legitimacy of their protest. 

On the other hand as a gay man, I am happy to see that marriage equality is upon us. However, that is just the first of many issues that needs to be addressed for the LGBT community. We need protections in employment and public accommodations. We also need greater protections for our transgender community. We need to decrease the racism, homophobia, Effemiphobia, and transphobia that occurs within the LGBT community.

Rioting to Effect Change

Rioting is a form of civil disobedience that has effected great change in America since its inception as a country.  The American Revolution started as a riot against Great Britain, which lead to the creation of the 13 colonies.  The Stonewall Riots lead to start of the Gay Rights Movement, which has lead to Marriage Equality. Now, we have Baltimore and the Black Lives Matter Movement. All of these are forms of political upheaval and civil obedience and all should be considered as equal and valid. Unfortunately, because Baltimore and the Black Lives Matter Movement are being lead and centered around Black people and people of color, it is negatively characterized. Their protest is legitimate. Their concerns are real. Their lives are equal to those in all other movements and should be treated as such. So the media, needs to check their language and not mischaracterize or delegitimize what is going. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

My hope is that once white gay men receive the right to get married that they do not stop supporting the gay rights movement until full equality and inclusion. It also my hope that all disenfranchised communities start seeing the commonalities in our movements. The Black Lives Matter movement needs the supporters of Maarriage Equality and the supporters of Marriage Equality need the supporters of Black Lives Matter. 

It is important that those at the center of the issue be centered. In your support of these movements, make sure that those that are at center, remain in the center and do not coopt the movement. Be in support but don't off center it. Let them speak for themselves and their lived experiences, and don't challenge it or delegitimize. Support it and emphatize. 

If we truly want their to be All Lives Matter we need to support each other's movements towards that central goal.

The riot in Baltimore is the same as the riot in Stonewall. When you get tired sometimes you have to throw a shoe and sometimes you have to throw a cinder block. 

I stand with Baltimore. I stand with Black Lives Matter. I stand with Marriage Equality. I encourage you to stand for the social change that is necessary to positive changes in all our lives and to not buy into the negative rhetoric and characterizations that are detracting away from the central issues that need to be addressed. 

Your always,

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Discusses Bruce Jenner and the Need for More Transgender Discussion

Last Friday, Bruce Jenner discussed his gender transition to Diane Sawyer. The interview was viewed by 17 million people. I applaud Bruce Jenner for being public about his transition because it has sparked much needed conversations surrounding transgender people and issues.

I am a very big supporter of our transgender community because they are often thrown under the bus when it comes to the fight for equality. One of the main reasons is because they are not understood by most of society in a very different way than people who have a different sexual orientation. Let's be very very clear: THERE IS A DIFFFERANCE BETWEEN SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND GENDER IDENTITY! 

Sexual Orientation refers to who you are attracted to sexually and can also refer to which gender you are attracted to sexually and for romantic relationships. Gender identity refers to how do you perceive yourself in relationship between masculinity and femininity and how you outwardly present that to the world. Both of these characteristics are not choices. They are innate aspects of yourself. How you outwardly present those to world is up to you. Also both characteristics are fluid and along a spectrum. 

I felt that one of the strengths of the interview was that it presented the difference between the two constructs. Jenner stated that he/she, does not identify as gay. Too often people conflate sexual orientation and gender identity. Just because someone is transgender doesn't mean that they are attracted to a different gender than they were initially attracted to. Just because someone identifies as same sex oriented doesn't mean that they have a different gender identity. 

Jenner's interview has sparked a much needed discussion. We need to understand our transgender brothers and sisters and see that their humanity is equivalent to ours. We must know their unique situations and respond to them accordingly. Make sure that you address them by their preferred pronouns and don't misgender them. Ask appropriate questions from a place of wanting to better educate yourself and relatability rather than from a place of prying.

My hope is that this opens the door to greater transgender viability on all fronts. We need more transgender people in the media both from the real stories of their experience to the portrayals we see on film and television. Keep the conversation going because that is how we become a better society through understanding our commonalities and or individualities.

Yours Always,

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Mourns the High Cost of Being an LGBT Activist

On April 21st, Nathan "Seven" Scott, a prominent LGBT activist, passed away. I did not know Nathan personally, but I am a big fan of his work!. I love his "We are the Media (WATM) videos. It brought the black gay male perspective on a variety of issues. Unfortunately, Nathan took his own life on April 21st. One of the reasons  that he cited about taking his own life was loneliness. Unfortunately, this has also been the reason why other LGBT activist have also taken their lives.

Once again, I want to make it clear that I did not know Nathan personally, so I don't want to speak directly for him or any of the other LGBT activists we have lost and whose work I admire. However, I do want to talk about the high costs of being an LGBT activist.

I consider myself to be an LGBT activist. In identifying myself as such, that means that I advocate and point out the injustices faced by the LGBT community and support efforts to increase the protections, benefits, and inclusion of the LGBT community in all spheres of our society. However, in doing this work, there is a high cost.

Checking my Privileges

Before I continue, I want to be sure to check my privileges. I think it is very important to check your privileges because it helps to situate your positionality and abilities. It is important for everyone to realize that our privileges enable us to do things that others cannot. By checking our privileges we understand our own position in society and we can arrive at a greater understanding of others in our society who do not share our privileges and bring them into new spaces where their voices can be heard and situated centrally!

I am a cisgender male. Therefore, I have male privilege. As such, my voice is often considered more than my transgender and female counterparts. I also have able privilege. I am not disabled which means that my voice is often considered above my disabled brothers and sisters. Also, my ableness provides me the mobility to be able to do certain things that others may not be able to. I also have educational privilege. I was able to attend multiple universities and receive multiple degrees and this has afforded me access to privileges that others unfortunately may not have access to for a variety of factors. The educational privileges of being degreed at the Masters level affords me the privilege of having my voice considered in ways that others who may have a better knowledge, awareness, and understand but because they are not educationally credentialed are not taking equally as my own.

It is important that I identify these privileges so that you know where I am coming from but also for society to take note about how our voices are considered and  the need for invitation to increase the inclusion and consideration of other voices.

The High Cost of Being an LGBT Activist

LGBT activism is not a high paying endeavor. Most people who are apart of the LGBT movement are not paid for their advocacy work. They often have to work a primary job to be able to sustain themselves and also support their activism efforts. If they do not have a steady job, they have to be supported in other ways to be able to advocate for our community. Therefore, if you are not apart of a large national organization with large resources, you are often funding your activism through your own resources and the resources of your supporters.

As we all know it is hard getting through life if we are unsupported. Without support it is hard to continue on with our work. It is especially hard for independent activists because they are having to balance their own personal needs with the needs of the community and utilizing their own resources to effect the change that we want to see.

Also, they bear the brunt of the attacks that we see from the opposition to equality. Our independent activists are attacked through the defamation and negativity by the opposition and even within our own communities. This negativity has caused us to loose many of our champions for equality and leaves us with a deficit.

Therefore, it is important that we support our independent activists. Given them encouragement to continue to fight in ways that we choose not to. Support them financially and emotionally. Utilize your resources to aide them in their important work. By doing so, you are contributing to the movement and advocating for your own rights.

So today, I mourn for Nathan "Seven" Scott and the countless others we have lost in LGBT movement to a lack of support. I also reaffirm my commitment to our independent, on the ground activists, whose actions are effecting the change we want to see in our communities and our world.

Please support our brothers and sisters who fight for equality on behalf of all of us!!

Yours always,
The BGM

B.G.M. Celebrates H.E.R.O.

On May 28, 2014, the Houston City Council passed the Houston Equal Rights, or H.E.R.O. The Ordinacne provides a local mechanism for protecting against discrimination in employment, housing, and public accomodations for 15 different classes.  These classes include:  sex, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, familial satus, marital status, religion, disability, sexual orientation, genetic information, gender identity, or pregnancy. It was a huge victory for everyone who comes from a marginalized population.  The passage of the Ordinance was due in large part to a collective effort accross different communities, working together, to urge the City Council to pass the Ordiannce.  I as proud to speak before the Council, twice, in support of the Ordinance. I was also there when the votes were cast and the Ordinance passed. It was an incredible feeling to see the fight for human rights in action, and to see the fruits of the labor that comes through advocacy and activism.

Unfortunately, after the Ordinance was passed, the Houston Area Pastors Council, under the leadership of Dave Welch, organized a petition drive to repeal the Ordinance and put it up to a citywide vote.  The opposition to the Ordinance circulated a petition that minsrepresented the Ordinance as a Bathroom Bill that would allow men to go into women's restrooms. When the opposition turned in their petitions, they claimed that they had obtained the necessary numbers to put the Ordinance on the November ballot.  Once again, supporters of the Ordinance came together and checked those signatures, and it became apparent that there were several irregularities with the peititons.  The City Secretary's Office returned with their official count, showing that the opposition did not achieve the necessary signatures.  In response, the opposition sued the City of Houston, Mayor Annise Parker, and City Secretary Anna Russell.

After months of testimony before a jury, challenges from both sides, and an official recounting of the signatures, this past Friday, Judge Robert Schaffer, ruled that the opposition did NOT meet the required number, and rules in favor of the City of Houston!

 HOUSTON FINALLY HAS A H.E.R.O.!!!!

THE NEXT STEPS

This is a major victory for the City of Houston and for Civil Rights for ALL people!

While we should definitely take the time to celebrate this victory, it is NOT over yet!  The opponents of the Ordinance plan to appeal the decision.  Therefore, we must continue to support the Ordinance by reporting cases of discrimination to the Office of Inspector General, so that they have documented cases attesting to the need of the Ordinance.  We must educate our communities and others about the importance of the Ordinance and the fact that it protects 15 classes of people.  We must dispel the myths and incorrect information related to the transgender community.  We must be the HEROes and continue the work until all of the challenges are done!

Also, we must ask those who are running for office, "Where do you stand on the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance?"  Ben Hall, who is currently running for Mayor of the City of Houston, has already spoken out against the Ordinance. He also stated that he would "dramatically alter the H.E.R.O. Ordinance," specifically againt the transgender community.

For someone who calls himself "Ben Hall for all" he is clearly NOT for all people. It is nobody's business what goes on in the restroom. There are NO cases of predatory behavior resulting from non-discrimination protections. What IS happening, is THIS:

I encourage you to NOT support Ben Hall, or any other politican who doesn't support equal rights for all people.

The fight conitnues and be sure to do your part!

The B.G.M.

B.G.M. Warns...Do Not Raise Your Children with Respectability Politics

One of the main reasons I have created this blog was to share my own experiences and for it to have an impact on this world. Well in this post I’m going to be very personal and very transparent. As you know from a previous post that I hate respectability politics, one of the primary reasons why is because I was raised with respectability politics.

I grew up in a small town called Lake Jackson, Texas. The population is not very diverse. My parents raised me to be an example to other black people. They would often tell me that I was a representative of them in everything I did. Now, I understand that children are a reflection of their parents, however, children are still individuals. I grew up primarily without being able to really craft or develop my own identity. My parents would pick out my clothes. I wasn’t permitted to bring home grades that were less than an A without being punished. I was supposed to behave in a “respectable manner” at all times. This meant that I had to speak perfect English at all times. In our home everything had to be immaculate, nothing out of place. My parents were very hypercritical of everything I did. Very rarely did they complement me or praise me for my achievements. The expectation was to be the best at all times.

Now, the problem with this respectability politics model of parenting is that I felt that I couldn’t be me. I couldn’t be gay because that was considered to be unrespectable. I couldn’t make any mistakes because I would be punished for such. I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I felt. My parents would immediately dismiss my feelings. I wasn’t allowed to go to counseling because they didn’t want people to know what was going on at home. I couldn’t share what was going on to other people because that would be telling folks “our business.”  On the outside, our family had earned the respectability of our community. On the inside, we weren’t a family. The warmth was not there. The support was not there. The love was not there.

Now that I am older, I am now realizing the effects of this respectability politics parenting has had on me. I am very much a perfectionist and I am afraid of making mistakes out of a fear of punishment or being perceived as being less than. I put my intelligence out there because I want people to respect that aspect of myself, but it hard for me to “turn it on or turn it off.” I don’t feel that I have to because my intelligence is very central and important to me, but it does make it hard for me to relax and let my hair down. It’s hard for me to open up to people because I didn’t learn how to do that growing up. I am very defensive of myself and my feelings because they weren’t reaffirmed or accepted but constantly challenged. I can be sensitive about criticisms or when people play the dozens with me because I was always getting criticized about everything about myself and never felt good enough. I hold on to people fiercely at times because of the fact that not many people in my family has stayed around when times got hard. I walk on eggshells because I learned that in order to successfully maneuver as a child that was what was required because if an egg cracked it would lead to punishment, neglect, or abandonment. Materialism was a very big thing growing up because my parents would think that because they bought something it would equate to love. The mantra would be “we provide you with a house over your head and all these things, why wouldn’t we do it if we didn’t love you.” However, just because you buy something doesn’t mean its love. Especially when you are guided by respectability politics and you want the community and the world to see the power of what successful black people can do. Often it was just for show and not about real love. For me that developed a certain level of materialism that can be present in my relationships. I often get very defensive when I don’t feel like I’m being heard because I would literally have to scream in order to be heard.

It’s funny, one of the things my dad would always say to me was that he was going to give “child abuse a whole new meaning.” I’m realizing that he did in fact succeed in doing that. My parents raised me on respectability politics and it really did a number on me.

I recognize this and I recognize that I have my issues that I am working on as a result of this. However, through this post what I hope that you realize is that we cannot raise children on a respectability politics model. Children need to be allowed to develop their individuality. They need to be able to express that individuality without fear of punishment or that you as a parent will not love them for who they truly are. Let your kids know that they are good enough, worthy enough, and are enough just by being themselves. If you don’t, and I am a testament to that, you can create anger, bitterness, and resentment.

I hope this provides a little more insight into me and where I’m coming from. I am a work in progress and a product of my environment. I refuse to let that child abuse stop me. However, understand this, people go through things in life. Nobody has the perfect life. Ask questions before you judge. Compassion is necessary and an incredible gift.

Thanks for reading,

The BGM